So there’s this business which imports cheap books from overseas and puts out a monthly catalogue called
Bookzone. Once a month I tend to look through the catalog and send hazel, (and
nishatalitha.livejournal.com before she went overseas), a list of books I think she might like to buy, and also a list of crazy sounding books that I think look terrible and yet hilarious, sometimes with commentary. Sometimes an email conversation like this happens:
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tamarillow Crazy/hilarious:
Kiss of the Goblin Prince: Shona Husk
Trapped for centuries in the bleak Shadowlands, Dai clings to his humanity with a thirst for knowledge. But now he's free of the goblin curse, and some would say he knows too much- he can make nature bend to his will, influence the minds of others, and command magic. Yet love eludes him.
[cry me a river]ORDER # R512-47 $12-90 ISBN 9781402262067
hazel AS FOR THE KISS OF THE GOBLIN PRINCE: WHY. WHY. WHY.
tamarillow Kiss of the Goblin Prince: We cursed you and tormented you, and you eventually threw this off. Rule us! I am sure you will be a fair and just prince!
hazel Obviously the best of all possible systems of selecting political leaders.
tamarillow “Listen - strange women lying in ponds distributing swords is no basis for a system of government. Supreme executive power derives from a mandate from the masses, not from some farcical aquatic ceremony.”
hazel :DDDDD I guess the waterboarding is just to find out whether the Goblin Prince is secretly a witch, then?
tamarillow Yep. And also to see if he looks good in a wet shirt. Sex appeal is very important for supernatural royalty. The previous Goblin Prince was a big fan of tight leather pants, but they wanted a new look for the next one. Leather pants not going well with water, they had had a problem with drought over the course of his rule. Currently top goblin intellectuals are designing contingency plans in case they have to deal with excess rain.
hazel The boys and girls in the Met Office aren't having a good time of it these days.
tamarillow What’s weather prediction without uncertainty? They keep trying to import quantum butterflies just to add some interest to their day job. But the Ministry of Inter-dimensional Biosecurity won’t issue them permits. They are starting to have enormously long boozy lunch breaks to relieve the tedium, and then trying to justify them as business expenses to the Secretary. Who is not amused. And can take costs out of their paychecks. Just last week, Wee Davie had to eat at the
cafeteria for 3 whole days…
hazel Meanwhile, the Goblin Prince - and it's beginning to look like the Sub-Sub-Committee of Power Behind The Throne were
a little too hasty - has engaged three busty farmgoblins to follow him around and keep his shirt constantly moist, in the hope that he can attract one of the neighbouring princesses - or at least the daughter of a duke.
Poor Ye Old Morris, Deputy Director of Crime and Punishment (Policy Division) took him the Mauve Box of draft legislation and other documentation last Wednesday, and the Goblin Prince dripped over everything. The vellum scroll of Those Who Shall Not Be Saved got hideously smudged, and neither goats nor scribes are cheap these days, what with the labour movement coming out of the Southern Ward goldmines.
Ye Old Morris had to have a refreshing bender through the darkening pubs of the Old West Wall. He woke up underneath a park bench three days later, with a crushing headache and minus a shoe. Mrs Ye Old was not impressed.
tamarillow Also, as wet shirts are a bit unhealthy in bad weather, and there are very few illnesses that are actually photogenic, the weather has, if anything, gotten hotter. The pessimists are cleaning up all the sweepstakes, and it’s affecting their psyches to be
winning, although the brighter ones are dismally comforted that it is through
bad fortune for the country as a whole.
Meanwhile the met office has just realised that the reason they can’t get any permits is because actually processing their requests would make the Ministry of Inter-dimensional Biosecurity deal with people who keep sniggering and making jokes about how they are neither Men nor In Black, whenever they see the acronym on the office stationery.
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nishatalitha.livejournal.com and I have been given notice at our flat because the owners decided to move back, 
